Teeth (2007) is a Morality Tale Wrapped in a B-Movie

Content Warning for discussion of sexual assault.

This time in Everything But Bone we will be talking about an actual bone, teeth! Not the ones in your mouth, but the vagina dentata. Yes, our film today is none other than the infamous Teeth. Written, produced, and directed by Mitchell Lichenstein, Teeth is one of those horror movies you put on to horrify your friends at parties. But it’s not as shallow as that. Underneath the layers of camp and gore, Teeth can be interpreted as a morality tale.

Lichenstein pokes fun at the ridiculousness of “purity culture,” which at the time was experiencing a bit of renaissance. The Jonas Brothers had their purity rings on. There were those gross purity balls. At the heart of Teeth is the fear of female sexuality. The horror genre has been milking that fear since forever. 1942’s Cat People, Carrie, I could go on.

Jess Weixler plays Dawn, a high school student who doubles as speaker for a purity group. She lives with her ill mom, nice stepfather (literally the only decent man in the whole film), and her super douche stepbrother, Brad (John Hensley). We immediately know he’s a douche because of his godawful tribal tattoos and hideous sideburns.

Dawn strongly believes in waiting until marriage. She starts a gentle romance with a seemly liked minded guy, Tobey (Hale Appleman). But Tobey is interested in more. In the cave above a local pond, Tobey gets violent with Dawn when she says no. He then rapes her. But in a moment of instant karma, something inside Dawn bites his penis off. Teeth’s budget did not skimp on the blood. Or the screaming.

In the aftermath of her assault, Dawn searches for answers. This leads her to the legends of the vagina dentata.

Teeth is a corny as hell B-Movie. But that’s exactly what it’s supposed to be. It might be really awkward to watch if you are a penis-haver (here at Everything but Bone, we use gender neutral language). But it does play with the usual horror tropes in a unique way. Dawn gets to be both monster and final girl. Not to mention her character is a huge take-that at the Madonna-Whore complex. Dawn isn’t either of them. Her character arc has her learning to embrace her sexuality and her teeth, ending the film as a dick chomping vigilante. Unfortunately, like many (perhaps way too many) heroines, her story has to begin with trauma.

Despite having teeth in the title, we don’t actually see them in action. Part of this is likely because of budget constraints. Lichenstein had the comparatively small 2 million to make his film. As I have said before in this column, leaving viewers’ imaginations to fill in the blanks often works better. Overly dramatic music and a well-placed sound effect tell us exactly what’s happened between Dawn’s legs.

We do know what the teeth look like, as one is pulled from Tobey’s body. Instead of shark, think lamprey. Teeth does not clarify why Dawn has the vagina dentata. There is a very pointed classroom discussion about mutation and evolution. And the mise en scene of many outdoor shots have viewers notice the two giant nuclear silos next to Dawn’s house. Honestly, I’d rather have the dentata than cancer.

Watching the film now does feel very dated. Everyone is wearing the best of early to mid 2000’s clothes. Just look at Dawn’s wide jeans! T-shirts with long sleeved shirts under them! The soundtrack isn’t the best, but it does help make the black comedy moments hilarious. The scene where Dawn visits the creepy gynecologist is nothing without the music.

But Teeth owes its success to the talent of the lead actress, Jess Weixler as Dawn. She gives a depth to the character that isn’t normally present in B-movies. Especially watch her during the final scene with Brad. Dawn seamlessly transforms from docile maiden, to alluring seductress, to merciless avenger. Come on, we all cheered when Brad’s penis fell out onto the floor.

In preparing this article, I learned Weixler went to Julliard where she was friends and classmates with Jessica Chastain. She has continued to work as an indie actress, and we can all see her on the big screen this fall as Audra Phillips in It: Chapter Two.

Last but not least, considering the current discussions of consent and sexual assault, it is cathartic to see rapists and jerks get their johnsons bitten off.  In the end, a message of Teeth is that every person should know how their parts work. There is nothing sinful about genitals. Maybe you don’t have a set of chompers down there. But no matter your gender or sexuality, it’s important to know what’s going on.

Cause there could be some teeth.